Finding Joy in Parenting: Benia’s Story

In a quiet village in Isingiro, Uganda, Benia kneads chapati dough at his small food stall, while his eight-year-old son helps by fetching water. The warm afternoon air carries their laughter as they work side by side. This simple moment of connection would have been unimaginable just two years ago.

For a long time, Benia’s struggles with addiction created a rift between him and his family. Things got so bad that his wife left, leaving Benia to care for their children alone. Benia found it difficult to cope with his anger and frustration. He pushed his children and others who tried to help away.

But today, he and his children are friends. This friendship is the result of a remarkable transformation in Benia’s life—one that began when he was at his lowest point and found hope through Right To Play's Play To Grow program.

A FAMILY ON THE BRINK

In 2022, after the birth of his second child, Benia’s life felt like it was spiraling out of control. His struggles with alcohol addiction created tensions in his household and strained his relationship with his wife. When his wife left, Benia found himself a single father to two young children, without a lot of support.

“I was clueless about what to do with my children,” Benia admits. “Though I loved seeing them, I did not know how to interact with them.”

Overwhelmed and struggling to cope, Benia often took out his frustrations on those closest to him. His eldest son remembers those difficult days: “Dad used to shout at us. He would go out and leave us alone at home.”

“The anger I had against their mother, I unleashed it on the children.”

Emily Natukunda, a parasocial worker in the community, saw what was happening, and encouraged Benia to attend Play To Grow’s parent support sessions at a local primary school. The sessions became Benia’s lifeline.

Supported by the LEGO Foundation, the Play To Grow program works with parents and caregivers of children aged three to six, empowering them with strategies to foster their children’s social-emotional skills, early literacy, and numeracy through responsive parenting and play.

In Uganda, only 10% of children between three and five years old are enrolled in formal pre-primary education. Parents play a crucial role in preparing their children for the transition to school and teaching them the socio-emotional skills they need to thrive. To do that, they need to have strong trusting bonds with their children. And they need to know how to speak to and teach their children through their language — play.

Play To Grow teaches parents practical ways to use everyday moments as opportunities for learning. For instance, parents learn how to turn mealtime into a chance to teach counting by letting the kids count spoons or plates, how to use local materials like banana fibers to create toys that help children develop fine motor skills, and how to use storytelling games to encourage creativity and language development.

Parents also learn techniques to manage challenging behaviors without resorting to harsh discipline. For example, instead of yelling when a child acts out, they are taught to remain calm and guide the child toward better choices using positive reinforcement. They also learn how to mirror emotions, set boundaries, and create safety for their children.

“Someone at the school must have known how badly I needed this,” says Benia. “The children were not talking to me, our relationship had totally broken down. This program helped me to bring them close, befriend them, and let them feel comfortable confiding in me.”

Since its launch as a pilot project in seven refugee and urban communities across Uganda and Tanzania, Play To Grow has achieved remarkable results. For instance, 77% of parents now believe that play is essential for their children’s development, and 82% report engaging in six or more playful activities with their children each week. Perhaps most significantly, 66% of parents stopped using harsh punishment. These achievements underscore the program’s potential to transform parenting styles and improve child outcomes.

A TRANSFORMED HOME

The impact of Play To Grow extends beyond play. Benia has been able to address his addiction issues, and now prioritizes spending time with his children. “My life changed, and my two children became the central focus of my life.”

The program taught Benia alternatives to corporal punishment—a prevalent issue in many communities. “The teachers taught us many tricks on how to manage our children and engage them without resorting to corporal punishment,” he explains. “Now, I am more understanding and in tune with my children’s emotions, and they open up to me.”

For Benia, the program has been nothing short of life-changing. “I have seen a significant difference in the last two years since getting support from Right To Play,” he says. “I am utterly grateful; without them, I would have lost my children, my family would have fallen apart.”

“We have learned a lot from him, and when we become parents, we will also play with our children,” says Benia’s son.

This intergenerational impact is precisely what Play To Grow aims to achieve—creating a cycle of positive parenting and play-based learning that benefits not just current families but future generations as well.

The Play To Grow program is implemented by Right To Play in partnership with local communities, Early Childhood Development (ECD) centers, and Parent Educators in Uganda and Tanzania, focusing on fostering social-emotional skills, early literacy, and numeracy in children aged 3-6 through responsive parenting and play-based learning. The program is made possible with the financial support of the LEGO Foundation.